


Goat Yoga

by chasingkerouac



Category: Glee
Genre: Canon Universe, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:09:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingkerouac/pseuds/chasingkerouac
Summary: Cooper's back home in Lima for Christmas and teaching a yoga class.  Blaine goes because he's a supportive brother.  Kurt goes because...well... Cooper.





	Goat Yoga

**Author's Note:**

> 47mel47 prompted Cooper Anderson & goat yoga. Can't resist that...

“When did Cooper start teaching yoga?” **  
**

Blaine handed Kurt his yoga mat and shut the back door to the car.  “A couple months ago.  Said it was a great way to meet casting directors because everyone does yoga in LA.”

“Do casting directors really want to be accosted when they’re in downward dog?”

“It’s Cooper,” Blaine replied, as if that explained everything.

Which… it usually did.

“So what’s he doing teaching a class in Lima?  Why’s he back here?”

Blaine leaned over and gave Kurt a kiss on the cheek before pulling open the front door to Lima Power Thrust Yoga and motioning for Kurt to head in.  “It’s Christmas.  He came home to see Mom and Dad.  And we’re here–”

“Because he’ll hopefully be shirtless,” Kurt replied brightly.

Blaine’s face fell.  “Kurt,” he groaned.

“Oh c’mon, you had to see that coming.”  Kurt winked at him.  “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.  We’re here to support your brother because we’re family.”

Cooper was positioned at the front of the room  “Blainey!” he exclaimed, looking up from his fiddling with the speaker once he caught a glimpse of his brother in the mirror.  “I’m glad you guys could come.”

“Wouldn’t miss it, Coop,” Blaine replied.  “It was all you could talk about at dinner last night.  And after dinner.  And once I was trying to sleep since Mom put the inflatable mattress on the floor of my bedroom,” he grumbled.

“It’s just like when you were little and you’d do that in my bedroom,” Cooper beamed.  “Anyway, you’re lucky you’re here early.  It’s gonna fill up.”

“Are you sure?” Blaine asked.

“I put it on Instagram.”

Kurt’s face lit up.  “You have an Instagram?” he asked, already whipping his phone out.

Cooper did indeed have an Instagram and, just as Kurt hoped, he was scantily clad in about 60% of the pictures.  Which, just like Cooper insinuated, helped fill up the class within about 10 minutes.  Blaine attempted not to roll his eyes as Kurt scrolled through photographic evidence of his brother’s narcissism.  But… well, it did get his class full.  Maybe that’s just what you had to do these days.  If he was going to be famous out in New York with Kurt, should get take off his clothes for Instagram?  That would be awful.  Maybe he could be witty on Twitter instead.

“Welcome everyone,” Cooper announced, banging a small gong and grinning serenely at the capacity crowd.  “I’m so glad that you are able to join me on this journey today.  Now, as I’m sure all of you know, I’m Cooper Anderson.  Yes, that Cooper Anderson,” he chuckled without explaining further.  “And I usually reserve this class for my legions of followers out in Los Angeles, but as I’m sure you know I’m just a hometown boy and I wanted to bring some of the glitz and glam of LA to you.  My friends and soon to be friends here in Lima.  So we’re going to stretch, and move, and glory in our bodies today with the power of yoga.  But not just any yoga.  Because regular yoga?  Passe.  It’s out.  It’s done.  Finito.  I’d like to thank Janet back there in the third row for bringing in the ladies today.”

“Oh god, is this some sort of stripper yoga?” Blaine whispered, but Kurt’s expression had gone blissful at the thought.  

“Janet as you know is the owner of Lima Electrical Supply and More, and the more is what we’re here to work with today.”

“He’s going to electrocute us all,” Blaine whispered again, but Kurt was paying even less attention now.

Cooper bowed deeply before reaching over to the door to the adjoining room and opening it.  It took a moment, but ten or so goats meandered their way into the studio to the oohs and ahhs of everyone in there.  “Meet the ladies.  Goat yoga is all the rage in LA and what better way for us to really get deep into our stretches and find the purpose of our chakras than with goats!”

“Cooper…” Blaine trailed off, raising his hand to get his brother’s attention.  “…goats?”

“Yes, thank you Blaine, goats.  Just let the goats play with you as you work.  Their energy will become your energy.  Embrace the goats!”

Embrace the goats, Cooper said.  They’re fun, he said.  Every time Blaine tried to get into downward dog, he’d get headbutted in the ass and fall down.  They liked to cutely stand on Kurt’s back – ‘Take my picture with it!’ Kurt would yell each time one gingerly stood on him – but Blaine… no, these little demons were determined to run rampage over him.  

“Namaste, everyone,” Cooper announced as soon as the class was over.  “Did we all enjoy it?”

“Yes!” “No.”  But the no was a singular voice that was easily drowned out.

“Wonderful!  I’ll be sure to put some of these pictures on my Instagram.  Be sure to follow me for more yoga, and to get 10% off goat sweaters and electrical tape with the code COOPER at Lima Electrical Supply and More.  I do get a small commission from every purchase – thanks Janet!”

“I’m not going to be able to sit down for a week,” Blaine grumbled as they rolled up their mats.  Well, as he rolled up his mat.  Kurt was still scrolling through is phone.  “What are you doing?”

“…buying a goat sweater.”

“You don’t have a goat!”

“But we could get one when we move to New York.  And it’s 10% off…”

“Kurt!”


End file.
